“ To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.” – Clara Ortega
Today is Friday, February 5, 2016. Today is the day of my brother’s funeral, but I cannot go because I have to fly to NYC today to photograph a wedding tomorrow. In honor of Tim’s memory and his trademark positive outlook on life, I want to take some time to think about all the things about him that I am grateful for today.
I am grateful for my nephews, and for how my brother and their mother have raised them to be kind and thoughtful and loving young men. I am grateful that they were willing to understand and forgive me when I told them I couldn’t come to their dad’s funeral today. I am grateful for their hugs and their smiles and their love.
I am grateful for the last 17 years, and especially the last 10 years that my brother and I were able to become close and make so many memories together. I am grateful that he was one of my best friends.
I am grateful for my brother’s mellow temperament, and that it was such a perfect balance to mine. I am grateful that he was always there offering an olive branch until I could grow up enough to take it.
I am grateful for the joy of seeing hints of us reflected in his sons.
I am grateful for all his teasing. I am grateful for his sense of humor and his goofy, slightly sarcastic way of seeing the world.
I am grateful for his acceptance of me and my family. I am grateful for his unconditional love.
I am grateful that he didn’t give a shit what other people thought.
I am grateful that he called me ‘Sissy’, even though he knew it annoyed me. I am grateful that he didn’t take me, or anything, all that seriously.
I am grateful for the hundreds of pages of text messages and Facebook messages that I will always have so that I can be reminded of him. I am grateful for every one of his ‘Where are you today Waldo?’ messages.
I am grateful that my brother’s hedonism equaled my own and that we shared a love of great food and sushi and cooking and craft beer and well aged Scotch.
I am grateful for our burping contests when we were kids, because I can still burp louder than anyone I know.
I am grateful for the sparkle in his eye and his always present smirk. I am grateful that he was a smartass too.
I am grateful for my cousins who asked me to make photos so that we could have a last sunny afternoon at the river together.
I am grateful for the snowstorm that inspired him to visit me one last time.
I am grateful that we spent his last day together with his boys on an adventure.
I am grateful that we always made plans for future adventures.
But most of all, I am grateful for his influence on me in the last few years. He didn’t know how much I watched him and how much I had changed because of him. He didn’t know that he had helped me become a better person who is more happy than angry.
But he did know that I loved him. And he knew that I always had a cold bottle of beer and some sushi waiting for him whenever he visited. And that’s the really important stuff.
With love Little Brother,
Your Sissy
Hello. My name is Amanda. I make neat pictures of nice people, drink coffee and whiskey (sometimes at the same time), and travel. The only thing I love more than coffee is traveling. I've also got a pretty serious landscape photography habit to support.
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