Like many specialized professions, photography has a language that’s unique to it. You’ll often hear photographers talking about things like apertures and shutter speeds, megapixels, ISOs, and whether it’s better to get it right in camera or in post.
But the technical stuff is for when they’re talking to each other mostly. What about the stuff they say on their websites or during a photo shoot? How do you interpret the stuff that they say to potential clients?
Here’s a rough translation for non-photographers so that you can understand what we’re trying to tell you.
1. The photographer says, “I’m a natural light photographer.”
Translation: “I have no idea how to use off camera lighting, so I’ll probably drag you all over the photo shoot location at a dead run trying to find ‘perfect (any)’ light.”
2. The photographer says, “I do minimal post processing.”
Translation: “I have no idea how to use Photoshop.”
3. The photographer says, “I take natural unposed photos.”
Translation: “I don’t know how to pose people, so I wing it and hope for the best. Sometimes I’ll even take photos looking up your nose because those are artistic. Tissue?”
4. The photographer says, “I love weddings and I’ll probably cry at yours.”
Translation: “I cannot keep my composure and I’ll probably miss a couple of important shots during the ceremony. Sorry, I was carried away by the moment. Tissue?”
5. The photographer says, “I love black and white.”
Translation: “Converting to black and white saves my hide and makes a grossly overexposed/underexposed/blurry shot usable. Heck, that one’s art and I’ll charge you extra for it!”
6. The photographer says, “No, you don’t have a double chin.”
Translation: “You won’t have one when I’m done in Photo-Chop.”
7. The photographer says, “I only photograph weddings. Weddings are my specialty.”
Translation: “I can’t earn enough to feed my dog shooting anything else.”
8. The photographer says, “I don’t specialize in any kind of photography. I’ll photograph anything.”
Translation: “Somebody hire me. Please! I’ll do anything.”
9. The photographer says, “No I’d rather not let you see the images on the camera. I prefer to show only finished images.”
Translation: “God, I hope I can fix this in Photoshop.”
10 The photographer says, “OMG! This is the most amazing photo. You look amazing!”
Translation: “OMG! This is the most amazing photo. You look amazing! I am a Photography Genius!”
So there you have it. Now you know what we’re really saying… get out there and have your photo session in confidence.
